Transformation

I love Easter. Really, it's my favorite day of the year. So much celebration and hope and excitement. I love everything about that joyous day.

It seems that I am not alone in my love for Easter because each year I see the church filled to overflowing. Everybody knows if you want to get a seat on Easter Sunday you gotta get there early. Who wouldn't want to celebrate the resurrection of the Savior? Amazing.

What is interesting to me is that as full as the church is on Easter, it is pretty empty on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday or at an opportunity to walk The Stations of the Cross during Lent. I would say church attendance during those experiences is probably 5-10% of what it is on Easter.

Easter draws a crowd because it is a celebration of Jesus having risen from the dead. It is a beautiful and necessary and vital part of our story as Christians. But just as vital is the last supper, and the crucifixion. Jesus suffered immensely during this time. He was betrayed by his friends, by his government, he was tortured and he died in a very brutal way.

It makes sense that we would want to be a part of the Easter story while skipping all the pain that led up to the resurrection. Who wants to remember pain and suffering, especially that of our Jesus?

 But the thing is you cannot have resurrection without a death and you cannot have a true transformation without some suffering.

We all want to be resurrected, we all want to be transformed but we'd rather skip the transformation process, because that means we are going to struggle and hurt and die and man who wants to do that?

When we take the suffering out of Jesus' story I feel like it cheapens the glory of His resurrection and it creates false expectations for our own lives. Avoidance of suffering with the expectation of transformation doesn't ever end very well in my experience :)

The glory of the Easter story is that even though Jesus suffered immensely there was new life, even though he struggled and felt abandoned by everyone (including his Father) there was a beautiful life changing transformation in Him. The Easter story in it's entirety reminds us that no matter how bad things may be that God is with us and that if we allow it, a new work is being done within each of us. A new work that is more glorious and beautiful than we could have ever imagined.

Suffering is a  necessary part of our existence. Through hardships we are made new if we choose to be made new. When we die to ourselves or to things that keep us away from God it is painful but it is so worth it because we discover that God Is. We discover the vastness of his love for us.

During this season I encourage you not to avoid or to dismiss Jesus' suffering or your own suffering  for that matter. But, to truly embrace it as a part of the transformation and resurrection story.

I leave you with a few lines from the Hymn of Promise. Which to me, perfectly captures the new life we find in the struggle.

Hymn of Promise

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

Without Projection

I found myself last night at fundraiser for a what I know is a good cause. As I was listening to speaker after speaker I found myself becoming agitated. The words I was hearing and the postures of the speakers were what I considered to be harsh.  I was hearing a lot about how evil the world was, how we must defend our faith, etc. I don't find the world evil as a whole. When I hear the term "defend our faith" all I can think of is arguing and being defensive. It troubles me to think of being on the defensive as I go out into the world.

Why wouldn't my posture just be one of love and not defense?

And when I hear people talking about Christians and non Christians in an us verses them kind of a way, I shut down.

After leaving the event my husband and I had a long conversation about it and in particular my feelings and judgement against people I see as having the wrong idea about scripture.

 As if my ideas were always right, right? When I sit in judgement against others because their version of Truth and their interpretation of scripture is different I am projecting my own issues onto them. I cease to hear their kindness and their devotion because it is packaged slightly different than my own. It is a hard thing to sit with someone who has different beliefs than you (even when you are in the same faith) and hold their statements without judgement.

The truth is their is an arrogance in me. An arrogance that views the world very narrowly. And when I approach life and people and ideas with an attitude of judgement I miss out.

The folks at the even last night do good work. They believe fully in what they are doing. They love others well through their ministry. They are a blessing in their community.

And I almost missed out on that blessing because of projecting my own  insecurities and ideals onto them. I almost missed out because I was judging what I perceived as their judgment of others.

Which is crazy.

If we could all set aside our snap judgments and our view that we are right and others are wrong, if we could hold others and their opinions in a Holy Space, where we just listen and love, imagine the peace and unity that could happen?

The posture of my heart

First Bloom of Spring

After the long cold winter we've been having I was so excited to find this little blossom in our backyard. It's been dark and cold and snowy for months and the sunshine and the promise of spring are a welcome sight.

What a great reminder that all things are made new. That spring will come no matter how long the winter. That new life is waiting under the soil for just the right season to emerge.

This lovely little daffodil reminds me of Revelation 21:5 that says: " And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new. '"

Today I am thankful for a God that makes all things new.

Certainty in the Uncertain

The older I get the more that I am certain that I don't know very much. I remember being in my 20's and being adamant and so sure about so many things.

It's uncomfortable admitting that I don't know anything and that I haven't got it all figured out. Unknowing is a messy business.  It's vulnerable and requires me letting go of my expectations.

And man, that's a bummer because I feel pretty entitled to my expectations.

Thomas Merton once said "We are all beginners."  And I find a lot of solace in that statement in regards to my faith. I am very much a beginner and the sooner I accept that the sooner I find comfort in the fact that God is not a beginner. That the Holy One has it down. Which means that I can rest and just be open to what He/She is asking of me.

This week I find myself in a period of waiting and of relinquishing control. When I find myself in these times I usually do one of two things
1. Freak out
or
2. To be still

This time, surprisingly, I choose to be still.

In the stillness of the last few days I was able to hear and to see and to experience God. While I was seeing and hearing and experiencing God it gave me space to step out of my own drama and insecurities.

I am relieved that I don't know how all of this will turn out, I am at peace that God asks me to just be still in the middle of hard times so that I can cling to Him.

I am certain in my uncertainty that God Is and that I am not.

Everything Shapes Us

 

It has been one of those endlessly frustrating days. Toddlers are sometimes merciless in their demands. Today was filled with tantrums and runny noses, with sibling on sibling crime at an all time high and many tears shed by not one of us but all of us on more than once occasion.

In the middle of a timeout I catch myself angrily scolding my daughter Lily and I stop momentarily to think about this little soul sitting in front of me. This precious, infuriating, button pushing almost 3 year old who for all her bark has a tender spirit and a fragile heart.

"Pray with her." speaks a voice out of  the silence. And so I do. We pray about hurt feelings and ask for help and strength and the words to speak up when we feel upset. We prayed for her little brother who is sick and her daddy who is at work. We prayed for each other and that we would both know just how much God loves us and how much we love each other.

At the end of the prayer I get a sweet chubby toddler hug and a mischievous smile that tells me the peace of the moment probably won't last all that long. But, that's alright. All we needed was a moment to recognize God in our impatience and in each other.

Children are the most effective way of showing us that we are not in control. My children push and inspire me to lean not on my own understanding. To let go of the way things should be, to surrender my plan of how the day should go and to try to learn how to embrace the beauty in each crumb covered, beautiful, sacred moment.

When mom doesn't have the words to comfort or to teach, it's ok because God always has the words and the space and the love to cover us.